Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
