i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
