I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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