Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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