I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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