Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
don't judge my taste in strippers
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
