Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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