just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
