Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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