Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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