Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize