kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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