That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
