Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
