Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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