hell yes lets make some ravioli
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
