i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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