Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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