did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
