Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
