alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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