Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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