You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize