So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
