I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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