So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
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Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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