I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
