IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Enjoy the penises
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
