Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
