So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
