this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
