I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i would punch a child for taco bell
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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