I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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