your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize