He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
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It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize