Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize