belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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