so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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