operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
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We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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