I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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