I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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