If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
