so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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