His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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