Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
