I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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