i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
