I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
