Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
