who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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