the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
