real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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