yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
