I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
