I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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