the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
