Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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