just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she told me i tasted like america
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
