who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Only a mothe r could love this liver
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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