Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
