just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
